Are You a Closet Foodie?

My name is Liz and I am a closet foodie. By day, and some evenings as well, I am a zumba and yoga instructor. I run an outdoor bootcamp in the park. I blog about health and fitness issues and attempt to inspire others to eat clean, drop those excess pounds, move the body, and heal the spirit. But I have a dirty little secret.

Yes, I already said it. I am a closet foodie. Food fanatic. And you might be one, too. I have developed this little quiz to help you find out. Please answer the following questions with ABSOLUTE HONESTY or I won't be able to help you.

Do you watch The Food Network for hours at a time, gazing longingly at the screen while Guy Fieri visits diners, drive-in's, and dives ad infinitum? Do you fantasize about sneaking into the backseat of his red Camaro so you can hit the road with him and sample some of that freaking fantastic-looking food?

Do you secretly wish that Paula Deen was your mother? Do you long to snuggle up against her ample bosom while she feeds you forkfuls of macaroni and cheese topped with bacon? And for dessert, a bourbon bread pudding with candied pecans?

Does Bobby Flay give you goosebumps? And do you admire his hand-shaped cheeseburgers with just as much (or possibly a little bit more) passion and lust?

When you visit your local library, do you end up spending more than half an hour in the cookbook aisle? And while you are perusing the thousands of cookbooks, are you noticing that you have already read most of them?

When you imagine a special celebration, such as a birthday, anniversary, or graduation, are your thoughts centered around the food you will prepare and/or the restaurant where you will gather?

Which of the following do you think is sexier: a towering slice of chocolate mousse cake slathered in dark chocolate ganache with a raspberry sauce and whipped cream on the side or Richard Gere?

After taking this quiz, I am guessing I don't need to break the news to you. It should be obvious if you are a closet foodie. Maybe you are not even in the closet about your food obsession? Perhaps you proudly wear your foodie status along with the barbeque sauce stains down the front of your shirt? If so, I applaud your openness. But as a health and fitness professional, I still have to pretend to be cool and collected around food. (All the while, I am secretly drooling as I watch yet another batch of onions rings sizzle in the deep fryer. Honest to God, I watched an entire show on Deep-fried Foods on the Travel Channel.)

Please don't tell anyone what I have shared with you today. My reputation is at stake here. What? Did someone mention "steak"?????