Love the One You're With

This is the name of a song written by Stephen Stills, of Crosby, Stills, and Nash fame. "If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with." Good advice for Valentines Day, right?

Not just on Valentines Day, but all year round we need to love the ones we are with. Our spouses or significant others. Our children. Our parents. Our friends, neighbors, students, teachers, dogs and cats and other assorted creatures. And ourselves. After all, we are with ourselves 24/7.

Valentines Day is a good reminder. All those heart-shaped boxes full of chocolate and the long-stemmed roses are symbols of something we need to keep in mind every day of the year: Life is short and precious, so make sure the people you love know how you feel.

It's easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day annoyances, the little irks, the pains-in-the-neck. The dishes in the sink, the toilet seat left up, the shoes all over the floor. Little things can get under our skin and on our last nerve. Sure, we can yell or snark or bitch about it. Or we can just wash the dishes, fix the seat, and move the shoes.

When I get all grumpy about the small stuff which I should not be sweating, I like to remind myself of how good I have it. Gratitude is a wonderful antidote for the snark. I know how lucky I am, but sometimes I forget. I have a wonderful husband who will bend over backwards to make sure I am happy. I have two smart, successful, beautiful daughters and two gorgeous rescued akitas. I have a roof over my head and a car that always starts and plenty of food in my pantry. I have so much to be grateful for and so little to complain about.

Last but not least, this Valentines Day, we need to remember to love ourselves. Again, it's easy to nitpick and criticize each and every tiny flaw. We tend to notice everything that's wrong--perhaps the size of the waistline--instead of everything that's right--the size of the heart.

This Valentines Day, let's make a pact. Let's shine our love like a beacon over all we encounter. Let us love all the ones we are with.