Once upon a time, a client came to see me. Let's call her Polly. She was referred to me by another client, so I had never met Polly before she arrived on my doorstep.
It was clear from the start that Polly really needed my help. She was obese, weighing in at over 200 pounds, and over 50% bodyfat. She was Biggest Loser material, and watched that show almost as religiously as me. So I figured Polly must already have a clue about what she needed to do to lose this weight.
But when Polly and I sat down to discuss her diet and exercise habits, the warning bells began to clang loudly in my head. Polly could have been crowned Queen of Denial. My first clue was that she only wanted to lose about 20 pounds. That was her goal. Clearly, she was about 80 pounds overweight. I got the feeling that she didn't consider those 80 pounds to be that big a deal. After all, she was not diabetic (yet...) and had no major health issues at the age of 50. When I asked about her diet and offered some suggestions for healthier choices, Polly had NUMEROUS excuses for why she could not eat salmon (because she was from the Midwest and no one eats salmon there), why she could not use her free weights (because her husband refused to fix the basement stairs), why she had to go out to eat several times per week and always order cheeseburgers with french fries (because her husband suggested it). As you may have noticed, many of Polly's excuses centered around her husband.
To make a long story slightly shorter, Polly did lose some weight to begin with. But she was unfortunately not able to maintain her discipline for very long and quickly gained it back again. I racked my brains and bored my own husband to tears with my endless hashing over of the Polly situation. I felt responsible for her failure because an awesome personal trainer would have been able to inspire her, to flip the switch that would light up her passion for a better life, a life in which all her joints would not ache and she might be able to jog for more than about 30 seconds without having to stop. After all, she came to me for help. And I failed her.
I'm still not sure what I could have done differently to help Polly wake up and see the light. Obviously, at some level, she knew there was a problem. She took the time and paid the money to hire me, only to ignore all my advice, continue to chow down on fast food and blame her husband for all her woes. There were brief moments where I thought I might be getting through to her, but any progress that we made was quickly undone by her next bout of eating. The bottom line is: she just didn't want it enough.
As I have said before, denial is a powerful force!
There really is no trick to losing weight, getting healthier, becoming more fit. You follow the diet and do the work. No excuses! If your husband or your wife or your children are not on board, then you go it alone. Ask for their support, by all means! But if they can't help you, look elsewhere. Friends, co-workers, cousins, neighbors-- I'm sure there is someone in your life who will support you. And I'll be here, every day, weighing in with my two cents. I've got your back!
You want to look sexier in that bikini this coming summer? Then let's agree on one thing: You can! And you WILL!
It was clear from the start that Polly really needed my help. She was obese, weighing in at over 200 pounds, and over 50% bodyfat. She was Biggest Loser material, and watched that show almost as religiously as me. So I figured Polly must already have a clue about what she needed to do to lose this weight.
But when Polly and I sat down to discuss her diet and exercise habits, the warning bells began to clang loudly in my head. Polly could have been crowned Queen of Denial. My first clue was that she only wanted to lose about 20 pounds. That was her goal. Clearly, she was about 80 pounds overweight. I got the feeling that she didn't consider those 80 pounds to be that big a deal. After all, she was not diabetic (yet...) and had no major health issues at the age of 50. When I asked about her diet and offered some suggestions for healthier choices, Polly had NUMEROUS excuses for why she could not eat salmon (because she was from the Midwest and no one eats salmon there), why she could not use her free weights (because her husband refused to fix the basement stairs), why she had to go out to eat several times per week and always order cheeseburgers with french fries (because her husband suggested it). As you may have noticed, many of Polly's excuses centered around her husband.
To make a long story slightly shorter, Polly did lose some weight to begin with. But she was unfortunately not able to maintain her discipline for very long and quickly gained it back again. I racked my brains and bored my own husband to tears with my endless hashing over of the Polly situation. I felt responsible for her failure because an awesome personal trainer would have been able to inspire her, to flip the switch that would light up her passion for a better life, a life in which all her joints would not ache and she might be able to jog for more than about 30 seconds without having to stop. After all, she came to me for help. And I failed her.
I'm still not sure what I could have done differently to help Polly wake up and see the light. Obviously, at some level, she knew there was a problem. She took the time and paid the money to hire me, only to ignore all my advice, continue to chow down on fast food and blame her husband for all her woes. There were brief moments where I thought I might be getting through to her, but any progress that we made was quickly undone by her next bout of eating. The bottom line is: she just didn't want it enough.
As I have said before, denial is a powerful force!
There really is no trick to losing weight, getting healthier, becoming more fit. You follow the diet and do the work. No excuses! If your husband or your wife or your children are not on board, then you go it alone. Ask for their support, by all means! But if they can't help you, look elsewhere. Friends, co-workers, cousins, neighbors-- I'm sure there is someone in your life who will support you. And I'll be here, every day, weighing in with my two cents. I've got your back!
You want to look sexier in that bikini this coming summer? Then let's agree on one thing: You can! And you WILL!
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