Safety

Still pondering the onset of my painful pulled muscle and today I thought I'd delve into some first chakra issues. In case you are thinking, "What on earth is a chakra?" I'll go into that first.

Maybe you know that I teach yoga as well as many other, less spiritual genres of movement and fitness classes. The teacher training I attended in order to become certified by the Kripalu Institute for Yoga and Health focused on the chakras. Chakras are energy centers. According to various yoga traditions, we each have at least 7 major chakras, although I have also heard 8 or 9. My tradition includes only 7 chakras which run along the spinal column from the crown of the head to the base of the tail. And the first chakra is located at the base of the spine, near the tailbone and the sitbones.

First chakra energy is all about safety.  When we feel safe and secure, this chakra can function in a healthy, vital fashion. But when we feel threatened in some fundamental way, this chakra can become blocked. And when energy flow at a particular chakra becomes blocked, it can be linked to all kinds of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual problems.

For example, let's say you go on vacation with a bunch of people you hardly know. Maybe you take a houseboat cruise around Lake Powell. There is one tiny bathroom on the boat and 8 people have to share it. In the morning, when you normally have a bowel movement, there are several people milling around outside of the bathroom, all waiting to brush their teeth, wash their filthy faces, etc. Because you don't feel safe enough, or relaxed enough around these virtual strangers, it becomes impossible for you to poo. This may go on for days. Some people can go more than a week under these conditions! In the meantime, toxic waste products are building up in your colon, you may experience abdominal pain, low back ache, and other symptoms. Classic first chakra issue.

As I have been tuning into the sensations of pain, tension, and imbalance in my low back and pelvis, I have been reminded of this first chakra connection. As I mentioned before, the muscle I pulled, the psoas, is a major flight-or-fight muscle responsible for preparing the body to bolt quickly in the event of danger. These days, when we perceive danger, and thus respond with stress symptoms, it is for very different reasons than our ancestors. In my case, I am not being threatened by a saber-toothed tiger. Nothing is literally chasing me or planning to make me its breakfast. But having my mother in my home, in my physical space, in an ongoing, 24/7 kind of way, seems to be enough to push my own particular stress buttons. At the same time, my oldest daughter is graduating from high school, moving out of our home, and moving into a whole new role as an emerging adult. Of course this is awesome and exciting, but on a different level, perhaps it is also threatening to me. How is my role as her mother going to change and evolve? Can I manage to let go enough to let her fly off to college on her own? How will I support her from afar instead of giving her a hug when she feels down? What is my identity if I am no longer that hands-on mother always present and ready to jump to her aid? While I figure out the answers to these questions, my body is screaming at me to hurry up and let go.

This morning in my class, a friend showed up with a cup of iced water and I noticed several mint leaves floating in there. I mentioned them and she said her stomach was feeling a bit irritated so she added them to her water. And I thought to myself, "Wow." She actually took the time to go out to her garden and pick a few mint leaves for herself. It may seem like a small thing to you, but to me it spoke volumes. She was caring for herself in a loving way-- the way I might treat one of my daughters, but never myself. It would never occur to me to be that kind to myself. Perhaps this is part of the problem?

I'll get to work on this. And you take care of your own precious self as well.