Self Talk

"How are you feeling today?"

"Not too bad, thanks."

"Glad to hear it!"

This kind of conversation might not seem too strange if it were occurring between two friends. But what if you were speaking to yourself? How often do you check in with yourself to see how you are doing? I'm guessing you may not ever pause and take the time to assess your mood, your health, your attitude. Who does?

Although we may not consciously ask ourselves how we feel, and we rarely call ourselves on the phone, we are nevertheless constantly talking to ourselves inside our own heads. There is an almost nonstop barrage of self-talk that fills our monkey-minds whenever we are not fully engaged in a task that demands all our attention. And I would hazard a guess that much of this self-talk is of a negative nature.

Maybe not. Maybe you are a fabulously upbeat creature that always notices the positive in every situation. Maybe you are constantly telling yourself how gorgeous you look and how brilliant you are. And if so, maybe you are even believing yourself. If so, more power to you!

But most of us are probably not quite so unrelentingly positive. You might try an experiment. Attempt to catch yourself in the midst of your self-talk. And notice what you are saying to yourself. Then try to fool yourself into talking to yourself some more. Catch yourself at various times throughout the day. This way you will have a good sampling of self-talk to assess.

If even half of your self-talk is positive, you are already in fairly good shape. It shouldn't be too difficult to work on turning around the other half of your self-commentary. But if you catch yourself being mostly negative, berating yourself, or putting yourself down continuously, this is going to be a large, though extremely worthwhile, project to undertake.

Even seemingly innocuous self-talk can have a major effect on your mood. For example, you might be constantly saying to yourself, "I'm so tired!" Or "God, my back aches!" Or even, "I'm so hungry!" All of these comments may or may not be true when you say them inside your head, but whether they are true or false, you are setting yourself up for feeling more tired, more achy, and more hungry by constantly talking about these problems in your head. Of course, if you are truly in need of a nap, a massage, or a meal, by all means you should notice and take care of yourself. But some of this self-talk is more of a habit than an actual need. 

It may be worth your while to pay attention to your inner talk, listening carefully, and then assessing exactly how helpful your inner dialogue is to your goals. Telling yourself how tired you are all the time is bound to amount to less work or workouts getting done. Telling yourself how fat and ugly you look does nothing to inspire you to take better care of yourself. So check in and see if your own self-talk is moving you in a direction you'd like to go.

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