The Joys of Menopause

If you are a middle-aged woman suffering through the hormonal swings of perimenopause (the ten-year long plague which precedes actual ceasing of the menses, i.e. menopause) I want to offer you a ray of hope. It may not feel like it, but this too shall end.

For the past ten years, I suffered alongside my middle-aged sisters. Things were not pretty. I gained approximately ten pounds, on top of the excess weight I still carried after my two pregnancies. This extra ten pounds boosted me into a whole new weight class. My faithful scale reported not just my number of pounds, but also the percentage of fat, which went up relentlessly, despite my constant exercising.

The weight gain was bad enough, but the painful swelling of my breasts into rock-hard cantaloupes was more than I could bear. I had to buy new bras in sizes and strengths I had only worn during pregnancy or never before. I had new wrinkles along with new pimples each day. I was simultaneously too hot and too cold to sleep through the night. My brain was foggy and tired, my mood grumpy enough to kill.

I read everything I could get my sweaty paws on in order to discover the cure for these hideous symptoms. I tried every type of supplement, dousing my salads with flax seed oil and popping handfuls of brownish gray pills. Sometimes I simply gave up and chowed down on batches of brownies, drowning my sorrows in buckets of fruit-filled sangria. (Needless to say, the sugar-laden desserts and drinks only exacerbated my symptoms and put more pounds on my bloated body.)

Then it all magically came to a sudden halt.

When perimenopause packed up its suitcases and finally moved on, I returned to my "normal" self. In the past few months, I have been able to lose weight steadily and consistently. (And my diet hasn't changed much at all!) Not rapidly, but at a pace that feels comfortable. Something I feel I can maintain. I can wear old clothing (and my older bras!!! No more melons!!!) that I thought I might have to donate to the thrift shop. I am down ten pounds and headed into territory I haven't visited in the past ten years. The scale and I are finally friends again.

All this is to say: there is HOPE! The hormonal fluctuations WILL come to an end. There is light at the end of the tunnel, my friends. Keep taking those deep breaths. Don't throw away your skinny jeans because a day will come when you will want them. And you will wear them again, as God is my witness. Stay the course!